The Million Dollar Question: "Who Are You"...really?

   ***the following story is is an example of how taking a physical feeling and translating it into a conversation can initiate one's own healing.                                                        

 "WHO Are YOU?"

I had been bothered for ... years ... by a constant lower back pain. It often made me feel like I was being pulled backwards and down towards the ground....a heavy feeling almost as if I wanted to fall in a faint.

I used to cope by fighting the feeling, and forcing myself to move on even though I was always left feeling a little puzzled by the experience.....

Now as age and experience can often teach us ~ there if often nothing like grief or a good problem or a serious health issue to slow us down enough to hear what is really going on in our thoughts ... and ergo our emotions...and ergo our bodies!

And for me, it happened while I was wandering through a local mall, feeling very sad because a  friend of mine was rapidly dying. Suddenly I began to feel that familiar pull down and backwards in my lower back again! 

But this time, I used my imagination to engage in a conversation with the sensation and so I stopped and turned around and said angrily, to that dark heavy feeling, "What do you want?" (And if I could draw you a picture ) I would say the feeling 'looked' like many arms and hands reaching out towards me with many voices saying at once, "Who Are You?"

My grieving over my friend had temporarily halted by usual habit of coping with this particular sensation and this time I had got mad instead!  So I responded to the question of who are you with,  "Thats it?"  "Thats all you want to ask me, after all these years of bugging me, thats it?!"

"Who Are You?"  I heard the voices ask me again.

And I was surprised to hear myself answer with confidence,  "I Am, a Child Of God"

And immediately the dark vision of the hands reaching up for me slipped away and I never have had that feeling in my back again.  I guess I could say that this was a defining moment for me. I never had asked myself that question and I had never been clearer about the answer. 

Cool eh!

Janice

ps. Our inner minds work with symbolism and metaphors and whatever we are familiar with from our upbringing, culture, country, tribes, etc., so its not so much how or what was said, so much as that I turned around and asked and then was able to answer.  Communication and integration are key to our own healing :)