Menopausal Musings

Background:

Lots of successful experience of healing from various diseases and issues, doesn't mean that I am not very slow at times, to realize that I can apply the same techniques to something that is currently happening! For example, with my skin cancer, it was weeks and weeks before I started applying my own solutions and again, with perimenopausal symptoms, it was four years before I stopped to have a deeper look see! Sometimes I am too busy coping and sometimes it takes for a pattern to emerge between my behaviour and then my (dis-ease) response, before the old brain starts to kick in :)

The following is a recent dialogue I had with my menopausal symptoms for the first time in four years. It was very revealing and after reading about my experience, I hope you might try this technique for yourself - (on this issue or some other dis-ease) as it can be a very helpful and comforting process. At the very least, it seems to stop the need to spend needless energy 'fighting' one's self ..... and it could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship :)

NOTE: Just speed read as if two people were talking :)

Hello Menopausal Symptoms
Hello Janice
You know don't you, that I have come to hate you and to fear you.
Holy Crap, that's it, that's how you welcome me, this is how you meet me?
Yup, that's pretty much it. I am pretty angry, pretty pissed.
Pissed at me??
Duh, well, yeah! You have pretty much f....ed my life around, turned it upside down and inside out, and speaking of inside out. HELLO! Which is inside and which is outside? One minute I'm freezing and the next I'm dripping in hot sweat, I mean what the f... is up with THAT? What the f... is up with you???
Me? You accuse me of changing you? Of making you different? of hurting you?
Yes, I do.
Well pray tell me, how have I hurt you, I mean really hurt you?
Well I haven't been able to work.
Truth tell.
Well, I do work, I work a lot, okay maybe I am a bit of a workaholic, but I don't exactly bring in money.
But you could?
Yes (sigh) I easily could. I just chose not to.
And what else have I done to hurt you?
Well, my main relationship keeps going from good to better, so I guess you haven't done anything but help there, in fact I think he understands me better from seeing me cope with you and the changes you make in my body.
And what else have you been doing in the last four years since I have been visiting?
Got several certificates, two more degrees, quit smoking, lost weight (and kept it off), made good friends, healed from coilitis and skin cancer, was able to be with my dog during the last years of his wonderful life, built a really fantastic relationship, did reno's on our home, meditated, started studying A Course In Miracles, worked on a website, learned computer skills, wrote, studied daily, overall ~ I have become very happy in all areas of my life.
And so again, tell me how I have hurt you!
Well.... apparently ... you haven't hurt me at all. Distracted me maybe, slowed me down for sure :) because I know without you being around, I would have been working full time at some sort of regular job and coming home tired! I can see now that I have been creating this wonderful life, while I've been busy coping with all of the bodily changes you have brought my way. And by the way, I have been noticing that whenever I looked in certain directions you seemed to suddenly come full blast, slowing me down so much I felt like I was living and walking in a dense dark wet fog. Yet, I have come to believe that you are giving me a message to slow down whenever I am going in the wrong direction for me. Is this true ?
Uh huh :)
I thought so!! I was beginning to see this pattern over the last two years. And the slowing down, it felt unnatural, yet I would have to say that somewhere down deep, I felt love, but it was weird, because everything else in me wanted to speed up and take action (like get a regular job!). Yet, it wasn't too far along your visit that I began to see how you were changing me. I was beginning to feel more authentic... You do amazing work !
Humm :)
I still hate you though. And I mean that in the nicest way, I mean your methods suck, they are so annoying and petty and non-life threatening and sickening and never ending 24 hours a day. You really have a seemingly thankless job, one that might not be too popular. But I have grown to respect and admire you in ways I can even count or really measure. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you have done! You are amazing! And I promise that from now on I will try and follow my true path from my own will, so that you can plan on leaving me sooner than later :)
Your most welcome :)

Post Script: It's now the end of August and since writing the above blog entry I have not experienced any more menopausal symptoms. I am carefully going slowly as I plan new directions in my life and gingerly wait to see if the symptoms will reappear. So far so good, although it's killing me to move so slowly! This is hard for a Saggie and a speed freak like myself :) Still, all is good, very good.

A God Story

A God Story

I dedicate this true story to my friend Sandy B. who is unfortunately gone now, leaving behind, her two beautiful boys.

One afternoon, when I was in my late twenties, I was at home in Richmond with one of my two foster teenage girls. I was planning to visit my friend Sandy B that afternoon and so phoned her. I got an answer, but it wasn't her. I apologized and tried again. Then, I called repeatedly and even though I knew I was dialing correctly, the same woman kept answering! We both finally started up a conversation and both admitted that we felt drawn to talk and to meet each other! Apparently she lived nearby with her husband and she invited both of us to dinner that same day.

I felt that God/Spirit was up to something and I was eager to go. I loved this kind of adventure and had wanted an opportunity to share something like this with my foster daughter.

We went and we were both impressed by the woman's lovely home, her style, and the dinner she served to us, her company and family. And when the dinner was over, the woman then started to talk about the recent painful death of her sister. (My foster daughter sat up straighter at this point, waiting !) It was obvious this woman was really raw and deeply hurting. And at the same time it also became quite apparent that her husband wasn't able to accept or understand her grief. He was kind of rolling his eyes about her choice of conversation, but we kept encouraging her to talk anyways, as it was clear that she needed support.

She then asked the both of us into another room to see a scrapbook she had made of her sister's life. This was something she had recently made for her sister's funeral and it was amazing:) Then she picked up another item and passed it to me while saying, " I have such an urge to read this book and I don't know where to start and my husband gets mad when I look at it". (I thought my foster daughter's eyes were going to pop out of her head at this moment.) It was a bible.

I took the bible from her hands and opened it up to Psalm 23, suggesting she start there. With suddenly weak knees, we all sat down on the floor while I read it to her out loud. She was deeply moved and started to cry and began to release some of her blocked up grief. We left shortly afterwards, feeling that our 'job' was done and I slipped her the name of a local pastor she could call if she wished.

My teenager was so excited to see God/Spirit work in this wonderful way! Once we got home, we talked a lot about how weird and fun and somehow normal it had all seemed:) Plus, I pointed out how all of us had gotten our needs met. She had had her first alcoholic fancy shmancy drink at dinner with adults, and I (a foodie) had a fabulous meal, and the stranger, the woman on the other end of the phone, had received the exact help she had prayed for!

It was an interesting and amazing day !

...Sweet Memories Sandy - Love and Peace :)

A Meditation on Rejection

A Meditation on

Rejection

Years ago, when I was going through a difficult time I meditated on the word REJECTION.

After some time it came to me that rejection is something that happens to us

~ when we don't have the courage to do what we need to do ~

This knowledge kind of takes the 'sting' out of it! And hopefully as you experience the value of following your true path you will eventually arrive at that place where you see that the rejection was actually a friend, not a foe.